ABC Diet -Day 3: Going out to dinner is the worst

Failed to stay under the cal limit for today because I went out to dinner with my mother and some people she works with. They were meeting in town and her boss invited me so I felt obliged to go (I've known him for years). And I wanted to see my mom.

At dinner when I said I was thinking of a salad she told me to get something else, as it was kind of a waste to get something like that when going out to eat. Also I was worried it would be weird to barely eat anything or to refuse a starter salad, considering we were out with her colleagues.

I’m kind of mad at myself for eating that much at dinner but when I got the rest of my food packaged to take home my mom commented how I had a lot leftover still and must not have eaten much or been very hungry.  I just told her it’s because I wanted leftovers, because then I wouldn’t have to cook later and could save time. 

I just want to live in my little bubble where I can eat what I want, or not eat, without feeling like people are judging, putting pressure on me to do what is considered “normal”, or make me feel like I have to make excuses for the things I do.

Calorie Limit: 300

Intake:

Diet pepsi- 0

Gum- 10

Chicken Harissa- ate about half, but mainly ate the veggies and some chicken, skipped most of the rice, so I’m going to guess ~350 based on the nutritional information online

House salad w light lemon dressing- ~150

Hopefully the day went better for the rest of you.

Since I went over my cals for today by about 210 I’m going to make tomorrow a 200 cal day rather than the allotted 400 cals.

This afternoon I almost binged but resisted because I knew I would end up going over my cal limit already because of dinner plans with my mom.

Occasionally my house gets pizza on Wednesdays, because it is super cheap and I was able to say no to it. I almost caved though,. I was starving because I was saving my cals for later and it looked so good.

I realized how awkward it is to be the only one not eating in a room full of people all digging in. Luckily I had the excuse of dinner plans later on. It must sound like I live with people who eat a lot of junk, which isn’t really true, but when they do get junk they can seemingly afford to as they workout regularly.

I did however buy a 2L carton of chocolate milk and it is sitting in my fridge unopened. I almost had some today but then I looked and saw it was 170 cals for 1 cup. That seems like a lot so I figure that when I have it I’ll try and water it down. I know that sounds kind of gross but I figure it’s a compromise between having what I want and still restricting.

I also found these meal replacement things my mom bought me awhile back. They are about the only kind I can have because of my allergies. I’m thinking of incorporating those into my diet, because they are supposed to be nutritious and contain all these vitamins and minerals, but they are ~270 cals for one. Might have to add more water, that way I can have one for the day but split into multiple meals. More filling and hydrating.

Finally done midterms. Two more papers to go this month, then finals in April and I’m done for the year.

I really need to get a job for the summer though. And a research position in a lab. Getting prepared for that is my goal for tonight.