My older sister is/was anorexic (she is in recovery right now, but I don't really think the thoughts ever really go away so I am reluctant to use the past tense). I just remember finding her stash of diet pills and laxatives when I was younger, and noticing her changed eating and exercise patterns.
I knew what she was doing because I was doing it too, only I was better at hiding it but much less successful at losing weight. To this day I hide this part of myself from my family. Why would they suspect I have "abnormal" thoughts and eating patterns if I'm not underweight.
My own mother used to go on extremely low calorie cleanse diets with my sister to lose weight. I couldn't due to allergies but I was envious of their weight loss. In the past my mother has suggested weight loss competitions for my sister, herself and I. They both workout consistently, are always reading weight loss material, talk about weight loss techniques or diets, and mention how they feel about their current weight and their need to lose weight.
I just feel like the women in our house are ruled by our weight, and that I am no exception.
Even my father, he comments on the calories in certain foods and what foods are healthy or unhealthy. He exercises multiple times a week and talks about it being important to be in shape. He makes comments noting and congratulating weight loss.
My family just seems to be hyper-aware of eating and weight, so I'm not surprised I am as well. I would like to note that my family has never pressured me to lose weight or purposely made cruel comments about my weight but I always have felt a weird silent pressure.
i totally know what you mean by the weird silent pressure. my fam is the same way. sometimes i wonder how much of it is in my head.
ReplyDeletethis one family i went on vacation talk about weight and dieting allllll the time. the daughter is like obese. the mom is average/fat and so is the dad and sister. all the mom talks about is losing weight. they are constantly on a new diet, and i have heard from her things like "if i got hold of a tape worm id be tempted to eat it" and "if my doctor would let me, i would smoke for weight loss." it makes me wonder if thats one of the reasons why the daughter is so fat, bec of the constant pressure to diet and lose weight.
we are the way we are because of how we were raised. i think women in general in our society has a disorded view of weight and what is beautiful. but then again, so do i.