Last night around dinner time a friend asks me to come out to dinner with her, and I agree despite not wanting to eat, especially not wanting to eat at a restaurant, because she is a good friend and I haven’t seen her for awhile and I was bored of studying.
Now she is a very pretty girl, very intelligent and we complement each other nicely, so my only criticism of her would be her weight.
She had always been bigger than I had been, but originally had been about average and steadily gained weight over the years like I did, and put on significantly more when she went off to university. She has always been dissatisfied with her body, but even more so recently, as she has noticed that nothing fits nicely and she is receiving significantly less male attention now (which bothers her a lot).
Either way, at dinner I couldn’t help but see her as a sort of reverse thinspo.
She spoke about how she hasn’t been working out and has just been lazing around eating whatever, and I hate to say it but it really shows.
Over the course of 2 hours she ate a medium pizza with extra cheese, bread soaked in olive oil and vinegar, chocolate cake with ice cream, and about a million pieces of my homemade fudge and sugar cookies that I had made for my housemates. When I only took a small piece of my bread and left the rest she asked to have mine when she finished hers. Also, the only reason she didn’t have alcohol too is because I made some excuse about not wanting to drink due to exams and she didn’t want to drink alone.
I know this seems like a stupid rant about a friend of mine but seeing what she ate and how she behaved towards food really did turn me off of food and wanting to be like that. I just saw it as unattractive, not being in control and seeming ruled by food and that is not what I want to be.
On a more positive note, I managed to survive that meal without putting on weight like I thought I would. She is very hard to be around because she is the worst influence when it comes to trying to eat healthy or restrict. I don’t know what I’m going to do over the Christmas break because I’m due to see her a lot.
I’m also due to go to a lot of parties where everyone eats and drinks a lot, so I’m worried about what that is going to do to my progress. I know I can avoid the snacks and such because I can say I’m not hungry, but in the past I’ve always been up for a party, having a couple drinks and just having fun so I feel that it would be very out of character for me to not drink.
Your feelings are just natural, you lost well 30 pounds, this means that you went through the fact of being overweight. You now have self control and seeing someone you love eating without caring at all makes you feel this way. If in your head you "use" her as reverse thinspo there's nothing bad about it.
ReplyDeleteAbout the parties...if you want to drink just do it, c'mon, it's a party! I drink a lot at parties, all I do is working out the day after. It's holidays, just have fun without worrying too much ;)
Try sticking to something like vodka and cranberry juice, I can drink as much of that as a like on not really see any weight gain, stay well a way from wine! Hope that helps x
ReplyDeleteChristmas is a hard time for every one of us, but I'm sure you'll manage. You don't have to restrict all the time, a little will be OK, won't it? And there are 4 days in between Christmas and New Year's eve, enough time to get rid of what you may have gained :)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about the food. It's nice that others can eat and enjoy without minding the carbs and the fat and the calories, but sometimes watching that is disgusting ...