Starting the process

Alright, so I'm starting this blog as a way to keep myself motivated towards reaching my goal.

I am a third year university student studying psychology, which I love and plan to continue schooling in.  I live with three wonderful girls who keep me sane and I am often unhappy with my appearance.

Here are some stats about me:
Age: 19
Height: 5'5
Weight: 137.4
BMI: 22.9

I am going on a tropical vacation and would like to lose weight and get in shape by then.

Within the past few year here are some stats about my weight:
Highest weight: 165
Lowest weight: 130
Goal weight 1: 125
Goal weight 2: 120

I had put on a considerable amount of weight while dating a guy (now broken up) and hated myself and my body when I was at my heaviest. There was a point during our fights near the end that he called me fat and such, which i suppose wasn't wrong but still, a low blow. Either way, I ended up catching a severe case of pneumonia in February and lost about 20-25 pounds, bringing me back to 145-140, within a healthy range for my height, albeit on the high side. I reached my lowest weight of 130 in recent years when I got sick this summer with strep throat.

I'm looking to tone up and slim down so I can be at an ideal weight for my height. I would like to be happy with my body and not look in the mirror and just see fat jiggly bit.

I feel like I should probably add that I have struggled with my self image in the past and now too. I have never been happy with how I look and do get satisfaction out of non eating for an entire day, and am practically giddy when I manage to prolong that pattern of not eating for days. My solution after eating too much one day or weekend is to severely restrict or not eat for the next while. This can be difficult because of my roommates though. Having roommate around is also the reason I don't purge anymore, too scared of getting caught doing something like that. Just to clarify, I do not have an eating disorder as specified by the DSM (which is used to diagnose mental disorders). I would say that the things I do can be questionable sometimes but without the severity of those who do suffer from eating disorders.

The way I see it, is that if I can't have my ideal body now, at the tender age of 19 (almost 20), then when will I ever have it, because things get busier and busier, other things begin to take priority, and my metabolism will slow down. So the time is now.